Blue like me?

I was reading blue like jazz yesterday and I came to a very real though and understanding from God. I am to proud. Not necessarily in the usual ways people think of but I realized I was to proud to accept God's charity. I have been struggling with this for a while now. I mess up and feel as if the weight of the world is on me. Where is the freedom that Jesus talks about in that. No where. I was punishing myself because I felt I had to repay God or at least do something in return for my salvation. And the truth is I don't. It is a gift from God. I came to understand that I don't have to work but love God and in this I will experience the obedient life I have been unsuccessfully striving to live. Not only that but I will be finally able to live life and live it abundantly. I guess the moral is because of His love we are able to do all we strive to do but cant. It is his strength the guides us not our own. Its nice to be humbled. Praise God.